“The best place in the world to be is inside a hug.”
Comfort Zones
I’m a hugger. Just putting it out there.
Some people are huggers and some are not. I get it, personal boundaries.
My family are huggers, my husband’s, not so much. It’s interesting, my husband hugs me whenever I want. He hugs his girls when they are leaving, occasionally. He hugs our grandkids, no problem. Well, they are huggers and expect one in return and who can deny a hug from someone so cute! But as a rule, he’s not a hugger.
The Power and Science of Hugs
Hugging is a powerful thing. There’s actual science behind it, so I’ve got that to back me up if you don’t believe me.
“Hugging stimulates the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” This neurochemical cascade fosters feelings of bonding, trust, and emotional connection, solidifying the foundations of relationships.” – The Science of Hugs: Unraveling the Power of Touch, Nov 28, 2023
“Today, neuroscientists have learned that when humans get emotionally upset, our bodies react to manage the increased energy. These physical reactions bring discomfort at best and at worst are unbearable. What can we do to obtain immediate help when we are distressed so that we don’t have to resort to superficial balms like drugs or psychological mechanisms like repression? What kind of relief is affordable, efficient, effective and nontoxic?
The answer is touch. Hugs and other forms of nonsexual physical soothing, like hand-holding and head stroking, intervene at the physical level to help the brain and the body calm down from overwhelming states of anxiety, panic and shame.”
“A therapeutic hug, one designed to calm the nervous system, requires some instruction. A good hug must be wholehearted. You can’t do it halfway. Two people, the hugger and the “huggee,” face each other and embrace each other with their full bodies touching. Yes, it is intimate. The hugger should be focused on the huggee with purposeful intention to offer comfort. It is literally a heart-to-heart experience: The heartbeat of the hugger can regulate the heartbeat of the huggee. Lastly and very important, the hugger must embrace the huggee until the huggee is ready to let go and not a moment before.” – Psychology Today, The Healing Power of Hugs, Dec 1, 2020
Intentional Habits
In the past year, I was introduced to something called ‘hands on heart.’ An amazing group I’m part of is remote. At the beginning of each meeting, we place our hands over our heart and have a quiet and gentle moment of breathing for two minutes. This is simple but is a self-soothing practice that can release oxytocin. Sometimes I send thoughts of love and positive vibes across the miles. It is also a way to show self-compassion and self-care. Reminding you to be gentle and kind to yourself.
I’m wondering if the ‘tree huggers’ were on to something… I might just go out and try it! I bet the tree gives you a sense of calm, some peace. And maybe we can give the tree some love in return.
What happens if you don’t have a hugger available? Not to worry, there are other things you can do!
- Cuddle your pet
- Help others
- Make eye contact
- Smile and say “hi”
- Eat some dark chocolate, strawberries, avocado or almonds
Go get a hug, and give one, and remember to be kind to yourself.
This is the kind of conversation that grows.
What ways do you show yourself some self-compassion?