“Meditation is not about stopping thoughts, but recognizing that they are just thoughts.”
For the longest time, I thought meditation meant sitting perfectly still in total silence, with a completely empty mind. Impossible, right? No wonder I would get frustrated and feel like I was “bad” at meditating. I even got a special pillow to sit on, thinking that was the answer. It is a good pillow, but that wasn’t really the answer.
But I kept coming back to it. Knowing that there was something to it, that it could be so helpful if I could do it “right”. But, I’ve learned that meditation isn’t about stopping my thoughts, or clearing my mind of thoughts, it’s about noticing them, letting them pass, and choosing which ones deserve my attention. And there is no right or wrong way to do it.
Let them Flow Like a River
Instead of wrestling with every thought, I learned to let them flow by, like water in a river. When I’m meditating, I try to just let thoughts come and go, not forcing.
This is especially powerful with negative thoughts. I may have them, but I don’t have to hold onto them. The more often I practice letting go, the easier it becomes.
Find Your Way
Meditation is deeply personal—there’s no one right way. Some practices I’ve found helpful:
- Guided meditations: YouTube has plenty of helpful videos. There are also apps such as Calm or Headspace (some offer free versions). Some have gentle talking throughout, others offer a few words at the beginning and end with music or sound in between. Each has a variety so just find what feels comfortable.
- Walking meditation: Mindful walking can bring you into your body and into the present moment. You can repeat a mantra, or just simply be. If you are walking outside, be aware of what is going on around you. Listen to the sounds, breathe deep and notice the smells. Pay attention to the way the air feels and how the ground feels beneath your feet.
- Creative meditation: Art, writing, or even cooking can be meditative when done with presence and attention. When your creativity is flowing, your thoughts are flowing. Have you ever become “lost” in what you are doing? That’s meditation.
If you feel you can’t meditate, just do some simple things.
- Pause before you drink your coffee, inhale and enjoy the smell, feel the warmth on your hands.
- Conscience relaxing; jaw, shoulders, stomach… feel the tension leave your body.
- Focus on the space around you, notice small details
- Breathe in, breathe out, find a short quote or saying to calm your mind, for example, “I feel peace, I feel gratitude, I feel joy.”
Why Meditation Matters
At its heart, meditation is simply a tool that brings us back to the present moment. It reminds us that we don’t have to live caught up in our thoughts, we can step back, breathe, and notice life unfolding right here and now.
Meditation will look different for everyone. For some, it’s sitting quietly. For others, it’s a walk in nature or getting lost in a creative flow or enjoying a cool drink on a hot day. The important thing is to find what works for you.
Meditation isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about practicing presence, again and again, and learning not to let our thoughts control us.
Remember to be kind to yourself.
What does meditation look like for you?
Have you found a practice—big or small—that helps you return to the present moment? Let me know what you think. I’m always open to meaningful conversation.